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Monday, September 1, 2008

confessions of a broken heart

Sad.
That's basically how I feel at the moment.
Feel fresh from my maghrib prayer, my duty as HIS loyal servant.
I cried. Tears drop from my eyes, running down my cheek.
I remember someone.
I missed her. So much.
Regret was all I could think of.
I regret the little time I spent with her (it should be more)
I regret I wasn't able to be there for her.
And I wasn't able to see her for the last time, asking her forgiveness for all the wrong things that happened. (I hate myself for that)
I am bad. I, sometimes hate myself for all the sins I've done.
I hate the way how cruel I treated her sometime.
I hate the way I sometimes ignored her.
I hate the way I talked harshly towards her.
That was me being evil.

But I never hate her.
And I know she doesn't hate me either.
She asked for me during her few last minutes on earth.
I wasn't there. I was busy studying.

I loved her. Hope she knows that.

Grandma,
I am sorry. Truly sorry.
If I was given a little more time on that day, I would give my all to just be there...
One last time.

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